Big Bold Faith
What is the Big Bold Faith Podcast?It's a multicultural podcast on real conversations about building Daily Faith. Hosted by Brittany Durphey, our podcast explores questions, theories, and practical steps to encourage and develop quality habits of Faith. Join us on Wednesdays as we show up authentically as ourselves talking about everyday struggles and Kingdom principles while planting new seeds for our soul to be a light for the Kingdom of God.
Big Bold Faith
Embracing Spiritual Growth: Navigating Change, Obedience, and Community
Have you ever found yourself stuck in old patterns, even as you enter new phases of life? Join me, on the latest episode of the Big Bold Faith Podcast as I reflect on my own journey through different seasons of spiritual growth. We tackle the subtle ways rebelliousness can sneak into our lives, keeping us anchored to comfort rather than God's transformative grace. I'll share my personal story of returning to podcasting and the spiritual lessons learned along the way, urging you to embrace God's mercy even when faced with struggles and inconsistencies.
What from this episode challenged your faith? Text us your thoughts, and prayer requests.
Hello, hello, happy, whatever day this is for you. Welcome to the Big Bold Faith Podcast, a podcast, let's see, if I remember y'all, a podcast dedicated to getting real bold and honest when it comes to living and fighting for your everyday faith. My name is Brittany Durfee and if you're subscribed, you're probably like whoa, what is this Like? What is going on? If you're new, hello, welcome on board. It's been a minute, it's always been a minute and I'm trying to be okay with that in all seasons. But I just want to welcome you back. First off, I want to say hello. I want to say thank you for those people who are kind of those ride or die, people that are like, hey, I don't know when the next episode will come out, but I'm subscribed, I'm plugged in, subscribed, plugged in and also just for prayers in this season it has.
Speaker 1:I don't want to jump into the episode. Before jumping into the episode, I really just wanted to say hello, welcome back. I've missed you in some form or fashion. I'll get to that in a minute. You're like wait, how do you miss me without? That sounded a little shady, I know, but I feel like when you are in certain seasons, different seasons require different things, and what I've been trying to be okay with and letting go of is not taking one season into the next. So we will have a certain structure, a certain schedule or agenda for our lives, and when God is trying to mature you and God's trying to stretch you and move you into different places, we try to bring that along. And there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. It is good and it serves you in that season, but that season is no longer this season and so whether that looks like you know you being a dedicated and devoted person of prayer in one season and being inconsistent in another, is not, there's nothing, anything wrong with you. What I'm not saying in that statement is I'm not saying it's okay not to pray, but what I am saying is that we have to let go of this idea of checking all of the boxes to seem that we are good but we are not really making change of whatever. That is right. So so much that I've been learning kind of in this season. Is God, I guess I'm going to say, does a new thing in me? The new thing does not feel well.
Speaker 1:Every part of my life in this season has felt like a full transitional season, and so I have ghosted y'all without even telling you guys. I was going to ghost you and I think I came back in October of 2023 and I was like, yeah, we're gonna start all over again. Whoop, whoop. And then she went ghost again, and now you know we're not a full year into another ghosting, but I'm going to do my best to do what I think that God has called me yet again that I cannot get away from, and it is this podcast. And so if you are here, whether you're the one or you're the million, I'm going to put this as a.
Speaker 1:What do I want to say? Essentially? I'm going to leave this as an altar, as a place and a space where I believe God is calling me back yet again, and your girl and her rebelliousness, and it's not a. Can we talk about this for a second too? And I hope that these are all things are blessing you again, and I know if you're new, you're like what are we talking about today? We'll get there in a minute. I promise you.
Speaker 1:All of this makes sense. But can we talk about this ideal of rebelliousness, right? So when I think rebellious, I'm usually thinking as, like, non-believers or people that actually curse God or people that don't believe in God, or they wake up in the morning and they choose not to do what God has said right, and I don't think it's that flagrant, that blatant. I think that there are very subtle things that God tells us to do and to walk in and to walk out, that we are rebellious in and we know it, and yet we decide to hold on to our own comfort of selves because we don't want to do the work, we don't want to get up, we don't want to do that thing. It's an inconvenience, it's inconvenient, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. It's not what I used to do, it makes me feel offended, and all of these things.
Speaker 1:If we look into the Word and if the Pericles, the Holy Spirit, is our advocate, leading us into all truth, what God has been showing me lately is the truth that he's trying to expose in you, that heart, that he's trying to soften him, trying to mature you in your spirit of faith. All of those things is God kind of pulling on you? And again, we'll kind of get into that a little bit later as well. But I really wanted to say I don't know if I can say sorry to you because I feel like in this season it's not a sorry to you as much as it is a sorry to God. You, because I feel like in this season it's not a sorry to you as much as it is a sorry to God.
Speaker 1:But I believe that God and His faithfulness and His mercy, with abounding in new grace and mercy every single morning, that it's a small process but it's transformational. And so in last season, where I was like, oh, okay, I feel like I need to. It's different now, because my heart is a little bit softer than it was last year when I was coming back to you guys and God is so faithful that he allows me to get back up every single year at this point, right, every single year at this point, to go back before him and say God, like, let me repent. That's where we see grace. Now, what I don't want to do is get so used to grace where I'm like, okay, well, god's just going to grace me next year. There needs to be an irreverence of fear of knowing that I might not make it next year to be back on here for the 5911 time saying I'm sorry I ghosted you guys. But what I want us to know and start to get used to is to understand that pool of what it is.
Speaker 1:The Holy Spirit. Right, if you believe with God, right, if you are a believer of God and you've confessed with your mouth that he is your Lord and your Savior, and if you spend time with God, in the presence of God, then there is naturally, innately, a rewiring that's going on within you and Holy Spirit is saying do this different, do this different. Oh, do this, do that. And you're like this feels so uncomfortable. But it's supposed to feel uncomfortable, right, if we are renewing our mind, if we're transforming, if we are working in trembling of our salvation, if all of those things are to be true, then we're trying to work towards the actual image of ourselves which calls us to be image bearers of the most high God. And that's going to take work, because our normal sinful nature, normally who we are in God or not in God, sorry normally who we are in the world is quite drastically different than who God is calling us to be. And so I just employ you in this season. And so I just employ you in this season If you feel I don't know if you feel that things are off, if you feel that things are changing if you don't dismiss them.
Speaker 1:Don't dismiss that difficult coworker, don't dismiss the storm that you are in, do not dismiss those hard conversations. Know that the God of the universe, the God the maker of heaven and earth, the one who watches over you, the one who saw you in your mother's womb, the one that his thoughts outnumber the grains of sand in all of the earth, know that that God is with you today to see you, to make sure that your steps are ordered. And so what we want to do is, if the Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead is the same Spirit that's living within us these are all scriptures, y'all. If that's the same Spirit that's living within us, then let us go for the ride of wherever God is taking us, so that we are maturing in faith, so that we are being able to grow, and that we're not on milk but we're on meat. We're on the meat, we're on the Word of God, the Word of God which, in Hebrews 4.12, says that it separates between soul and spirit, like it is sharper than a double-edged sword. So let's keep all of things in mind, and I know I've kind of just given a whole bunch of revelation that's been probably kept in my soul for so long.
Speaker 1:But, I mean, rebelliousness is a real thing and I don't think that we think of it. And then what I think what happens is, as we continuously ignore and quell the Spirit of God, we start becoming more repelling to Him and we start following the world. Right, the Bible calls us as temporary residents of this living world that we're in, and as temporary residents of it, we form so much into this world more than others. Right, we start doing certain things and God's like I'm not calling you to that, I'm calling you. So obviously it feels like this tension against our soul of like, well, why can I do that? Or why is this and not that? I'll give you a specific example, and I'm just using this as an example for me. So there's no condemnation or conviction or you know, I'm just using this because this is what I feel led to.
Speaker 1:But you aren't called to do everything else that everyone else is called to do. Right, certain people have a complete word from God, conviction from God, and God's been calling you away from that thing for so long and you've been doing the opposite because you think that your friends are there, you think that familiarity is there, you think comfort is there, you think joy is there, you think peace is there, you think happiness is there, and it's not. And certain people. For me specifically I'll use this example there was a time where I think people. So I think I've shared this before, but I don't.
Speaker 1:There are certain things that I don't enjoy right. So I don't enjoy going to clubs. I'm probably outgrown that. But, like when I was younger, I didn't really enjoy clubs either. But I love to dance, you guys, I love, love, love to dance, but clubs just weren't the thing for me. But what I tried to do was I tried to quell that thing in me and say, well, no, you know, I can go, I'm going to go to this one and then let me try to go to a second one, and then, you know, let me try to like something. And it's wild, because that's not how God formed me, like that's not what God is calling me to specifically. The beautiful thing about that was that, and I think, just like looking back over my life, of looking at those things, god was saving me, right? I'm not going to say that the club was dangerous, though. Right, not for me. But if we look at other people that got into the club scene and I'm talking about the 2000s y'all, like that whole scene where people would go. Everything was happening in the club, whatever you were. No condemnation, look, I went there. I saw that I was not looking at you guys like Babylon, none of that.
Speaker 1:But there were certain things that people picked up habits. So, for example, if you were young, you would go to the club scene you may go with friends. Or so, for example, if you were young, you would go to the club scene, you may go with friends, or whatever. They may offer you a drink. You might be like, okay, cool, I'm gonna have this one drink. And then it became like a thing as far as like a social activity and communion with other, your other friends. So then that started to just be like, oh, I just want to kick up my friends, but every time you kick it with your friends, your friends want you to drink, which you don't usually drink. But then you started to drink because you were at the club, because that's what everyone else was doing. Then, after that, then somehow not somehow, but very small and small steps you started to drink more.
Speaker 1:And then you got older and then you have a drinking addiction and now that's passed on to generations, that's a family curse, that's a whole generational thing and tie, and I just think of, wow, the very thing that God was trying to save you from, the very thing that you had a distaste for in your mouth, probably because your grandmama, she, was praying for you against that thing and you fell into the trap, you fell into the ensnarement. And so what I want us to do is to be conscious of our feelings, how you hear and how you feel in this season and how you see in this season. God has been showing me that specifically, wherever I go, that not to despise, to ignore, to become so ignorant and foolish to the things that I see and feel. Lord, let me tell y'all I was walking to the trash can the other day. It was pitch black, I think it was only like eight or nine o'clock and I saw something move like in the background. Now, I love the Lord, we'll get to that. There's a pause in that because Holy Spirit just convicted me y'all.
Speaker 1:Oh, lord, okay, here we are. I follow the Lord. We'll say that I follow the Lord. I'm struggling over here. Y'all, I'm going to tell you in a minute. Let me get through this story. I have been following the Lord since I've been a youth. I'm trying to tell you in a minute Let me get through this story. I have been following the Lord since I've been a youth. I'm trying to tell the actual truth y'all. That's where it's coming into play. So, and I saw something move.
Speaker 1:Now I try not to be overly spiritual and I think that there's a overly spiritual culture going along where they're like. It doesn't take all that You're being overly spiritual culture going along where they're like it doesn't take all that You're being overly spiritual. But there are things that are actually happening that you actually see, right, so don't just dismiss it. When I went back and I was like, I said, oh Lord. I said Lord, please, please, show me. I think I was like kind of like relating to the Lord, like did I just see something in the physical or did I see something in the spiritual? I was like kind of like relating to the Lord, like did I just see something in the physical or did I see something in the spiritual? I walked back and what did I see? A black cat moving, and he was. He basically matched the like you wouldn't have been able to see him unless he had moved in the light. But he was moving.
Speaker 1:And so all of that to say is trust your instincts in this season. I don't believe in these last days that God is not awakening both our physical and our spiritual senses to be able to see things in the seen and the unseen world. Okay, so trust your instincts, trust that pulling, trust that God is showing you and pulling you in a direction that you really need to go to in this season. And when we tie into those things, when we really listen to those things we're in the, and when we tie into those things, when we really listen to those things, we're in the presence of the Lord for those things, then we can start loving on Him. And so here goes my conviction portion that God has been working with me on.
Speaker 1:It is in I believe it's John 14 that God says, and it's not even just in John 14. I wish I had my other notes, because I don't think I have it right here with me and I don't have my phone, but it's okay, I'm 100%. No, I'm not 100%, I'm 90%. In John 14, it basically God says if you love me, keep my commands and I will ask the Father and I will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever the spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know me, for he lives within you and will be in you, and I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you. And so there are so many parts of scripture that God says you will know them by their fruit. Those who love me will obey me.
Speaker 1:And in this whole sense of this rebellious nature, in this whole nature of understanding and being in tune with your instincts, your spiritual instincts of knowing what God is calling and telling you to do, it leads to obedience, right. So we want to be obedient to God because we love God. And if, for whatever reason, you're feeling like I've always heard of obedience and it feels very much like a rule, or like God's a teacher or a God of discipline or just this raging God that just wants me to follow all these rules, I just pray that you seek God and you ask God for understanding. I'm not going to tell you to just kind of like, just obey God, just do it and get over it. Like your heart will change. I'm going to ask you to come to the Lord with your heart and confess to be like God. I think that you are like a mean God.
Speaker 1:I think that this obedience word gives me a trauma and a trigger from my youth that makes me think that I'm back in, you know, middle school again and that I'm going to be reprimanded if I don't go by these rules. And I don't feel you, I don't feel your love in this. Why do I have to do this? Anyway, come with God with all of your emotions and all of your feelings, because that's what God is asking for, right? God is always asking for our hearts in every season. He's trying to get closer to us. He's trying to mow that thing, the number of the amount of times that heart is in the Bible. I don't remember the number. I know that it's like upward in the upper hundreds. Remember the number. I know that it's like upward in the upper hundreds.
Speaker 1:But I do remember that God is a God of hearts and the heart is not just the physical organ, but it is the motives and the desires of us, and I was reading something recently that was talking about this motive and desire for us to be able to actually have an actual image of who God has called us to be right. So when we look at, let's see so. 1 Peter 1.17, it says and remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time here as temporary residents, for you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors, and it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which loses their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but now, in these last days, he has been revealed in your sake, and so there was a study that I was reading, actually, that was talking about God looking at us in our actual image. Right, so there's three ways that we can see ourselves the way that people see us, the way that we project ourselves, and then the way that we actually are. People see us the way that we project ourselves and then the way that we actually are, and so God's been dealing with me on this matter of what is my heart and my desire right.
Speaker 1:So in the Bible I believe it's in Proverbs it says above all else, the heart of man is what is it? Not foolish, but like thank you, holy Spirit, is deceitful above all things. So when you think about the heart, it's deceitful above all things, even to our own understanding. Sometimes we think that we're giving out, we're giving to others, we're being generous to others, we're loving on people, we're being nice to other people, because we think that that's the part of us, that is who we really are and that we're giving from a good. We think that that's the part of us that is who we really are and that we're giving from a good place.
Speaker 1:But that's not who you actually are. Right, because there are thoughts that come into our mind that are like in case and point, right, there are people that give to homeless people, right, and you see them right. And you have this pull on you from the Holy Spirit, which is truth, that'll say give to that person, right. So you'll give to that person in the moment. And then there's another thought in you that says they're going to just use that for some alcohol, they're just going to use that for some drugs. And you have this right the soul and the body. They're always fighting at each other so that you're not able to do the good that you want.
Speaker 1:That's what scripture says. That's a synthesized version of it, where you're fighting constantly between your soul and your oh my goodness, not your spirit, but essentially those two parts. And when I think about that, I think about yes, there's a part of you that's the truth that God's saying give to this person, right. But the other part of you is really the actual image of you of saying I don't trust this person, I doubt this person, I don't wanna give my money because I wanna be stingy, I wanna keep what I have for myself and not give it to this person. And so what we do, right, we follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Right, we give unto that person, because that is truth, that is the Holy Spirit trying to change our hearts and our minds and our souls and our spirits. But then we also pray against the part of you that God's showing and revealing to say, actually, I'm very stubborn, actually, I'm very selfish, actually, I have a hard heart and my hands stay closed, because we don't want that part of us to oversee this. So you see how you have both good and evil at the same time. Right, god gives us the ability to see our actual selves, and what we so often do is we kind of diminish it. Right, we say, oh, that's not really me, oh, that's just a negative thought, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is God, holy Spirit, revealing truth in you, saying my daughter, my son, this is who you really are, at the core of you, and I understand it If it's not flowing out of you.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've had moments, you guys, something as small as this, and I'm going to put my whole self on blast. I have been, I've had that thought of like I don't know what you're going to do with this money or whatnot. But I know that God has called me to serve those people who are homeless, that are displaced, to find goodness and to see them, because so many people oversee them. But I've also done very stupid, childish things, you guys, that don't even make sense. So I speak Spanish a bit yes, we speak Spanish a bit, and I've started to learn Portuguese as well, and there have been times now listen how foolish this is, right. Okay, just rock with me, don't judge me, just give me a little grace.
Speaker 1:I have been with like people where, or I'll try to look impressive to like the person. So let's just say we're in a coffee shop, right, you're sitting across from me Maybe you know a little bit Spanish, maybe you don't and there's a person next to me, right, and I might think that they're cool, I might see them, I might think they're attractive, all of those things. And there have been times where I'll try to impress them by my conversation that I say to them so I might try to use and you might not even try to use Spanish, right, you might try to use big words of wisdom and try to sound all puffed up and that you know things and whatnot, so that people can be in earshot of what you're saying, right, people are always listening. So if the person next to me is listening to me and I want to impress them, I'll be like oh yeah, I'll listen to you all. See you in Dubai, like all of those things, thinking that they'll be like oh, okay, like she can speak a whole different language. Come on, black girl, black girls.
Speaker 1:And God had to really start showing me. Like who are you trying to impress? Like you don't even really know the full language. You know five words in Portuguese. So what are we talking about, daughter? Like, why do you want to impress people? Why do you want people to look at you a certain way? Why does what they think about you actually matter, right? So there's so many things.
Speaker 1:When I think about the goodness of God, when I think about God revealing our hearts, it is really the heart of life that we should be after. And that heart of life is God, right, he's the bread of life. Right, he is the truth of life. He is the all-knowing God, he is water. And so when I say and I've titled this the heart of life, it's not life of living life right now, it is the life of God. God, open up my eyes, open up my heart, to see what it is, who I actually am in your eyes, because that is the person that you will have to be held accountable at the day of resurrection. When God gets before you, he's not going to be like oh, you thought this, I was trying to reveal who you really are. That is the person that is going to be like oh, you thought this, I was trying to reveal who you really are. That is the person that is going to be judged and that's going to have to give an account.
Speaker 1:And so if you're not doing and you're not working in those spaces and you're working in a projected space of yourself, that's a false image of yourself you end up becoming foolish and you become living a whole life that's a lie, and so what I don't want us to do in this season is to discount those things that God has been trying to show and to reveal to us to help us grow in our understanding. Right, we're all praying for understanding, but then also just this idea of moving into higher faith and higher understanding and glory, and just you know, all of those things that God has called us to do. And so just being spiritually sensitive and understanding that gap really is what I want us to do. I want all of us including myself, you know pay attention to your body. How does your body feel when you go into a room with a lot of people that are gossiping, right, and you're the only believer in the room that says nothing? Yeah, you don't say nothing. You just be sitting there like shaking your head in agreement, coming into covenant and agreement with that lie. Yeah, you'll be held accountable for that too, and I know some of this is scaring you guys, but it's like it's true.
Speaker 1:Right, we are here as temporary residents. Our eternity is in heaven, wherever you know. If you've confessed God as your Lord and Savior, you are going to heaven. That's not the point that counts. Y'all. Like cool, you got the heaven card. Now what? What are you going to do for your life? Don't you want to be with the Lord, that you get a chance to rejoice and be happy and excited and live a life of well done here on earth? So when you go to heaven, like and if that's not your desire, pray about it. Like, I don't want you to like, get into this idea of like, yeah, I'm so excited to go to heaven and I can't wait to, you know, be in the presence of the Lord. When you don't like to be in the presence of the Lord, now why would you want to be in the presence of the Lord for eternity? Eternity doesn't have like years assigned to it. Y'all, it's forever. Right, shout out to the Goonies that's my movie. But forever, that is you, that will be you, and so let's not live a lie.
Speaker 1:I would rather I think I read this, or maybe I came into this You're in preparation for heaven for now, right? So all the things that you do now are to prepare your spirit and your soul for heaven to rejoice, right? To prepare your spirit and your soul for heaven to rejoice, right? I think I even saw something mentioned that it's not going to just be, you know, it's not going to be just a party and a singing and whatnot, but it's actually God's going to give us roles and responsibilities. So whatever you're curating and you're getting good at and you're getting focused here on earth is what God is preparing for you in heaven. And so maybe the things that you feel called to seem silly, but God's going to use that and orchestrate you to oversee a certain region or something in heaven. Okay, that's what I read recently.
Speaker 1:I need to do a little bit more research, but I thought that it was a profound way of looking at oh, you only get X amount of years. At, oh, you only get X amount of years 50, 60, 70 years to prepare for eternity. Like it's so, like the time, right, you think that you have forever, but you don't, right? 20s you're really not doing anything with your life, right? 30s you start getting an understanding. You're like oh, we out here, 40s, I don't know, y'all the 40s if you in the comment section, go ahead and just drop what happens at 40 and 50. And I think some people don't usually get it until they're 50, 45, 50. And then the world tells you to retire at 60. And I think I'm getting to an understanding. Like God, I wanna work out the rest of my years, like, if I have another 40 years of this life to prepare for, then I've got some work to do, because I was wandering for about 25, 30 years and yeah, I just I want to employ you in that and understanding.
Speaker 1:I also want to talk about something else that I think will be super helpful for those people. That I think will be super helpful for those people just walking out this life and initially I was going to. How do I want to say this? What I will say is this is a very hard and difficult season for a lot of people. Right, I'm speaking in first person. When I feel called to do so. I will share more about what that looks like and why my MIA has been a little bit more MIA than usually, because transition is hard. Storms are so difficult, my God, are so difficult, my God Oof In due season I will share with that.
Speaker 1:But essentially, what I want to say is, if you're a believer of God and I've had this experience I had this thought and I was actually going to title this a little bit different. I was going to title it your Prayers Don't Get you to Heaven, and I thought it would be a little bit too radical, but I'm going to say it anyways. We, as believers, and those people seeking God and the Father, and you come across other believers or you come across those people that are non-believers or those people that are just coming into their faith I want us to be better stewards of how we handle their feelings and their conversations. So when I say that, when we wake up every single morning right, we are striving and learning and knowing more about God's goodness and we have information and you become more wise in your knowledge and your information, and it's not just information, it's wisdom, and with wisdom is practical advice that's being lived out. Thing that I think that we can do as believers in this time is not follow through and not be the hands of Jesus, and what I mean by that.
Speaker 1:I guess I'll use the example, which is not really an example. It's actually something that I experienced and encountered. So in my season of my storm I think I was telling someone about my storm and me as a believer my gift is prayer. I have a couple different gifts, but intercession is one of them, if you haven't already guessed. But as I was conveying kind of my issues to another believer, my troubles and struggles, this particular person said that's why we have prayer. Right, like you know, we can just pray about it and it'll solve itself. And I was angered by it, I was triggered by it and I was frustrated by it because and I conveyed during that time, because I had had some time to sit with it I've been around other believers in this time because I had had some time to sit with it. I've been around other believers in this time and let me finish this part and then I'll go back and segue to that what we get so comfortable doing is using that as a way to not do the work right.
Speaker 1:So if we are called God's children, if we're called ambassadors of the kingdom, if we are called servants of the most high God and whenever I look in scripture, I always see Jesus sitting with the people right With the man that was demon possessed. Once he went on the other side, he y'all I'm gonna share that story too he sat there and listened to the demon, y'all, like the demon was talking to him, like he wasn't just so quick to deliver, he wasn't quick to pray. The woman with the issue of blood, jairus with his child? That none of it was. You just need to go pray, right? Just go pray and I'll be there. Or you know, just be just prayer and it'll go away, right, and we don't even know the story after like. Or you know, just be just prayer and it'll go away, right, and we don't even know the story after like.
Speaker 1:When the healing happened, when the answer came from God, we don't know what that looked like in that transition to full healing and glory, right. So the issue of blood, the woman with blood, she may have felt weak, she may have felt, like you know, still just bleeding and like all other struggles in mind and mental things, and maybe that all didn't go away on day one after she touched the hem of Jesus's robe, but it was on day 365. But to my story specifically, what I conveyed to that person, I said you know what? I don't think that that's the answer right and the reason why I said that. I said one as a non-believer or an immature believer that's still becoming familiar with the Word of God. What you're telling me to do is, if I just pray, this whole storm will go away and the person I'm believing to be healed will be healed today or whatnot. And what happens if that person isn't healed right? Then I walk away from the faith, because you told me as a believer, as the person, that all I needed to do was pray and it was going to be gone.
Speaker 1:Now, on the opposite side of the pendulum, as a woman of God, as an interceder, as someone that's been following God, I'm going to say following loosely, you guys, because I don't always obey God's command. So how can I love him if I don't obey him and follow him? So that's where you guys hear my trepidation and stuttering when I say when I obey the Lord, when I follow the Lord, because it's like Lord, I haven't really been following you. I've been kind of, you know, trying to get it right, but we all fall short of the glory in God and God restores it each and every morning and I'm grateful for that. But back to the story of me following God and following him for the last I think I did the math the other day, it was it's been like 23 years. I got baptized when I was 13.
Speaker 1:So we've been out here for a minute, and so what you're telling me, as the person that is mature in her faith, is that my prayers don't count, like I need to pray harder, I need to fast more, I need to go on this journey, I need to cut myself and I'm saying loosely, cut myself from God. But I want us to be very sensitive, as believers, how we use our language when we talk to people and we say, oh, you just need to pray more, and it's like our God is not a God that needs any more actions. Even if we did everything perfectly right, even if we memorize all parts of the Bible, every scripture, every word, if we said every word specifically the Bible says, we still would fall short of the glory of God. We would still fall short in his goodness. There is nothing that I can do that would be perfect in the eyes of God as long as I'm here on earth, and so be very mindful when you tell people this, because what it is is it's putting them in a space of thinking that God is a conditional God. Right, there are conditional promises, yes, in the Bible, but there are unconditional things that God loves me, regardless Whether I pray 100 times or 10 times, god is looking for my heart, he's looking for my motives and my desires.
Speaker 1:He's looking if I'm getting closer. He's looking if I can be honest and vulnerable to say, god, I don't know in this season, I don't know how you're going to heal this person, I don't know how it's going to work, but, lord, please send help. Lord, lord, I'm weak in this season. God, I need you in this season. God, I can't deal with it in this season. God, I feel alone in this season, all of those things we have to be mindful for, because it is not by just my works, it is by the relationship that I have with God. And so, yes, prayer leads to relationship, but your prayer really needs to be a heart prayer, right?
Speaker 1:I converse, or have this what's the difference between a person that's a prayer warrior, that has a whole bunch of things to say, and someone that's five years old that's praying like in a childlike faith? I feel like God would see the childlike faith more than the person who's a prayer warrior with a lot of words, with a lot of texture, because it's all about the heart. And so I think what I also wanna say is, if you see those people that are hurting and that they need help and they are a mature believer or immature believer guess what that is that is your place and point to sit with them, to be with them, to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to serve them. Whether it's checking in on them and say, hey, I'm just going to you, mind if I just call you like once a week and we can, just you can tell me all your things and I'll just hold space for you. Hey, let's grab dinner, like let's do dinner once a week, let's grab coffee once a week, because it is so emotionally hard out here and the enemy's out to kill, steal and destroy. He wants them to be alone.
Speaker 1:And so us as believers, us, when we wake up and we say, god, what is my purpose today? God said that's the purpose, that is the person of purpose that I have for you today. I want you to look after my child, I want you to look after your brother and your sister, I want you to be mindful of them. I don't want you just to pray for them. I want you to hold space for them, because when there's something about community and I don't think God was well, we see that in the beginning, right, we see that it wasn't called for man to be alone. And even in these situations, the enemy is looking for isolation because that's where he can thrive. And so there's scripture about there being two people back to back. There also says a three-chord okay, y'all know the scripture, right? Three-chord cannot be easily broken. All of those things are not in scripture, just for happenstance. And so we really need to be mindful when we go out.
Speaker 1:And this goes for non-believers too. You guys, how can you hold space for them? Why? Because your witness your goodness, even if they don't believe in God, right, and I don't think that I think that you need to tell them about God, but I don't think that your language should be all about God. I think that if people can see your heart and they can see that, ooh, something's different about you. Thank you for holding space for me. You don't even believe in the same thing. I'm not even a believer. And yet you opened your door and you invited me to dinner. And we're not just reading over the Bible, but I'm looking at your life. That's how we win souls back to the kingdom of light.
Speaker 1:So all of that to say is, when you're in the season and someone says to you this is a very difficult season, I don't know what to do, I'm stressed out. Yes, you can mention prayer. I'm going to pray for you, actually pray for them there, because you know that you're going to forget later on. But then also say, hey, how can I support you? How is that landing for you? How are you feeling in this season? How can I show up for you? Right, they may not even know. How can I show up for you? Oh, I don't know how. About we just have coffee every week? Like, would you be down for that? It's on me. It's like, well, these coffee prices out here are like $8, y'all, but it's $8 and a little bit of time, and I think that that would be greater than you trying to like.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can memorize the whole Bible. Yes, you can do all of the things like the Pharisees, but if your heart's not changing, then what are we doing out here? What are we doing out here? And so, yeah, that is today, that is the heart of life. That is the thing that I feel that so deeply in this season, with so many transitions, so many broken people, so many storms, so many hard times, people are starting to lose the heart of life and life being Jesus, and so I encourage you that you're not alone.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to say it's hard by any means. I was reading in Lamentations this morning I think it's Lamentations 3-4, and it was just mentioning that the Lord doesn't leave you forever, right. And so if you feel alone in this season, if you feel like you don't have anyone to reach out to I in a spot, but like someone, he will send someone and that you'd be open to receiving and that you're able to speak to them and talk to them and see God through them, but that you make yourself available to the light and not the darkness, and your prayer, even though it sucks, and that you're asking God to take it away, that you ask God to see more of him and the goodness of whatever this is supposed to bring. And I know that's hard and that's difficult, and I know that you probably won't see it today and it might not be tomorrow and it might not be this week, but to really just go to God with your heart and your frustration and say, god, I don't see it in this season, I don't see how you're going to heal me in this season, I don't see how this thing is going to change, I don't see how this marriage is going to change God. But I believe that you can help my unbelief, help me to see differently, help increase and encourage my faith, put me in places with people whose faith is greater than mine and just being okay in the in-between.
Speaker 1:You don't have to have it all together in the season, you do not have to fix it. It's not for yours to fix, it is for God to fix, for it says the battle is the Lord's. And we give the battle to the Lord, who is the Lord of hosts. He has a whole army on his side. He is legion of angels ready to fight on your behalf in the spiritual and in the physical. And so I just pray that you give him all of your cares and all of your worries and that doctors report and you gracefully just hand over the things that you tarry with, the things that cause you so much frustration and angst and anxiety and depression and sorrow and sadness and loss and those tears that you cry, that no one else knows except your pillow at night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think of the scripture that says, abba Abba, why have you forsaken me? I think of the scripture that says Abba Abba, why have you forsaken me? I think of the scripture that says I lay down and I, um, I wake because, lord, you sustain me and just knowing that, um, it's, it's a heart posture and that, if anything else, if you die tomorrow, for whatever reason, that your heart be in the best possible condition that it can be while here on earth. So I'm going to pray us out, because I'm going to pray us out. Okay, dear Heavenly Father.
Speaker 1:God, we thank you for being a God of love. We thank you for being a God of heart. We thank you for being a God of love. We thank you for being a God of heart. Lord, draw our hearts closer to you in this season, in our lack of understanding, our lack of troubles and struggles, even in our storms. God, I just pray, lord, that you just open up our eyes of understanding. God, knowing that you are for us and not against us. God that you hold the whole world in your hand.
Speaker 1:God, that Lord as we confess, lord, that you own our souls, god, that there's no one, nothing above or below the earth, god, neither angel or demon, lord, that can separate us from your love. Lord, for you say love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul. Lord, you say, to love your neighbor as yourself. God, give us the understanding. God Transform us and our heart postures, lord, to you. Take out anything, lord, that is not like you, our motives and desires to be liked, to be accepted, god to be valued. Lord to be seen.
Speaker 1:God in the name of Jesus, god, I just pray, lord, that we be seen by you, be validated by you, found worthy by you. Lord, as the God who cares so much about us. Lord, we thank you, I thank you for your mighty name and your hand around us. Lord, I pray that you protect us and keep us, as you always do. God, thank you for keeping us for another day and giving us the power to tread over serpents, scorpions and snakes and over all of the power of the enemy. Lord, I thank you for being a mighty God, a God that sees his children, all of us individually, knowing the amount of hairs on our head.
Speaker 1:God, be infamous about your thoughts for us, god, we thank you. Give us the power to withhold and withstand, god, the issues of the warfare. Lord, keep us, lord, both physically and mentally. Lord, we thank you. We give you all the glory, we give you all the honor In your son's name, jesus, who is above all names, who is the perfect lamb that was slain for us, lord, in Jesus' name, we pray Amen. Who is the perfect lamb that was slain for us? Lord, in Jesus' name, we pray amen.